What is our inner voice?
Whether we realise it or not, we time travel every day. Up to 47% of our time is spent in our own heads—ruminating on past events, criticising ourselves, or worrying about the future. These repetitive thought cycles are a major source of stress. In fact, our inner chatter can reach up to 4,000 words a minute—the equivalent of a presidential speech. So, what impact does all this internal dialogue have on our well-being? It’s important to remember that our inner experiences often overshadow our external ones. What we think tends to be a better predictor of happiness than what we do.
Our inner voice is linked to our working memory—specifically the “inner ear” function that helps us process verbal thoughts. Verbal and emotional development go hand in hand, and research increasingly shows that all logic is first filtered through emotion. This means every life event is coloured by how we feel at the time it occurs. Emotions are central to both brain function and mental life.
Our environments—family, community, and schooling—shape the stories we tell ourselves. From an early age, the messages we receive from those around us begin to form the foundation of our inner dialogue. If we grow up in nurturing, supportive environments, where mistakes are treated as opportunities for growth and emotions are met with understanding rather than judgment, we are more likely to develop an inner voice that is kind, resilient, and encouraging during times of stress. This inner voice doesn't develop in isolation. It's influenced by the tone of conversations we hear at home, the expectations placed on us at school, the feedback we receive from peers, and the values reinforced by our culture. Over time, all of these elements combine to shape how we interpret challenges, how we talk to ourselves in moments of difficulty, and how we view our place in the world. For example, a child who frequently hears “You can do it, just try again” is likely to persist through setbacks, while a child who hears “You never get anything right” may begin to doubt their abilities and withdraw from effort.
In essence, we use our minds to write the narrative of our lives, with ourselves as the main character. This narrative influences not just how we see ourselves, but also how we interact with others and respond to the world around us.
The Inner Voice in the Classroom
We’re all familiar with how distracting a negative inner voice can be. As Ethan Kross writes in Chatter:
“Have you ever tried to read a book or complete a task requiring focus after a bad fight with someone you love? It’s next to impossible. All the resulting negative thoughts consume your executive functions because your inner critic and its ranting have taken over corporate headquarters, raiding your neuronal resources.”
It would be unrealistic to say our inner voice doesn’t impact our teaching—or our students’ learning. For young students, who are still developing emotional regulation skills and a sense of identity, the effects can be even more profound. Their limited life experience makes it harder for them to contextualise setbacks. After a negative learning experience, they may quickly move from adversity to belief to consequence. For instance, failing an English test can easily morph into “I’m bad at English,” which can lead to giving up entirely. As educators, we must be aware of this pattern. By creating safe, supportive classroom environments and explicitly addressing how students talk to themselves, we can help them pause, reflect, and reframe. We can guide them to ask, “Is this thought true?” or “Is there another way to see this?” Before these limiting beliefs take root, we can plant seeds of resilience and self-compassion instead. After all, as the saying goes, “Whether you believe you can or you can’t—you’re right.” The inner voice may be invisible, but its impact on learning is anything but.
Quieting the Inner Voice and Building Resilience
Resilience—the ability to recover from or adapt to adversity—is key to emotional well-being. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, it involves “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” Resilient individuals tend to have strong problem-solving skills, meaningful social connections, emotional regulation, self-compassion, and a survivor’s mindset. But how can we help students build these skills?
Create a safe learning environment: Normalise mistakes. Help students reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth.
Teach positive self-talk: Guide students in identifying their strengths, which they may not recognise in themselves.
Model and encourage self-compassion: Our minds often fixate on failures, so help students learn to zoom out and appreciate their broader capabilities.
Foster flexible thinking: If Plan A doesn’t work, can they try Plan B or C? This approach builds resilience and practical problem-solving skills they’ll use beyond the classroom.
Practice emotional regulation: Teach students to pause and reflect instead of reacting impulsively. But remember—these skills must be practised when calm, not during a crisis.
Introduce gratitude practices: Gratitude can lower cortisol (the stress hormone) by up to 20%. Noticing what’s going well builds emotional perspective and resilience.
Activities to Cultivate a Healthy Inner Voice
The goal isn’t to eliminate negative thoughts but to stop them from dominating. Here are a few simple but effective classroom activities:
1. "I Believe I Am..."
Ask students to trace their hand on paper. In the palm, they write “I believe I am...” and on each finger, a positive word (e.g., kind, strong, creative). If they struggle, encourage peer support—this often becomes an important moment of recognition and connection.
2. "What Went Well?"
Invite students to name three good things that happened today, this week, or this month. Then, ask them why those things happened. This exercise reduces anxiety by shifting attention to the positive and fosters a sense of wellbeing.
3. Model Emotional Regulation
Let students see you managing your emotions. For example: “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take some deep breaths.” Over time, students internalise these coping strategies through observation.
4. Mindfulness Moments
Mindfulness helps students become aware of their thoughts, feelings, and sensory experiences in the present moment. Start simply—perhaps a few deep breaths, explaining how this calms the body. Over time, you can introduce longer breathing exercises or guided visualisations when appropriate.
Final Thoughts
Our inner voice plays a significant role in how we navigate life—and learning. By helping students become aware of their internal narratives, teaching them to reframe negative thoughts, and building emotional resilience, we support them in creating a more confident and kind view of themselves.
Works referenced:
- Kross, E. (2021) Chatter: The voice in our head, why it matters, and how to harness it
- Davidson, R.J. (2013) The emotional life of your brain
- Feldman Barrett, L. (2014) How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain
